Day 2

Ok - for everyone playing along,  I'm going to TRY and post everyday this month - NOTE * TRY*.

Today's prompt is to talk about something you know a lot about or are good at. I figure there are three things - scrapbooking, mental illness (not good at, but know a lot about - ha) and raising good kids. I figured most of you don't give a damn about scrapbooking and those of you in my family know probably more than you want to know about mental illness, so I thought I would talk about raising good kids. Please note - I do not do this alone - Craig is a huge influence on the boys, and we are NOT the best parents on the planet. We have however learned a lot about what works for us and our boys.

I read a long time ago that Dr.Phil said that the relationship between the parents has to be number one, then that of the children. I have heard it repeated by others numerous times over the years. I would like to start by saying that Craig and I do not subscribe to this philosophy. Our children are number one and have been since the day they were born. For me, they will remain in that coveted spot until the day I die. No one/nothing will ever change that.

So, here are some things that we believe in and that work for us:

1. Five days a week we have dinner together as a family. Even if it is at 7:30pm, we eat together. We go around the table and replay our day for everyone. Sterling, in fact, is so specific, he even details where every one sat for lunch. I love it. I can tell you that often our supper hours are just that, an hour!

2. Unless we are going out or the kids have homework/volunteering, playing outside with their friends (do 15 year olds play???) is always a yes.

3. I never say no if the kids want to cook with me, even if it takes double the time.

4. Sundays are generally family days, which means a movie or something we all like doing together. Usually the boys will always choose this over their friends, but if not we are ok with that too and never guilt them for choosing another activity.

5. If I have change in my wallet, the kids are welcome to it. Now don't get me wrong - I'm not handing over $20s, but if they want to go to McDonalds for fries and a drink, I always contribute if I can.

6. We choose who they hang out with. I remember someone once saying "I can't choose your friends but I can sure as hell choose who you hang out with" and that too, has stuck with me forever. We practice that with the boys. Just last night we were speaking of one boy in particular and I said - no hanging out with him.

7. NO PARTIES!

8. No dating until 16, and even then it will not be one on one. When Sterling turns 16 later this year, the age will be 17. ha

9. We are NEVER too busy to talk to them. EVER. About anything. I must admit, sometimes YouTube bores me to tears, but if they want to talk about it, we will.

10. While new is nice, sometimes it is not possible. The boys wear second hand jeans and shorts sometimes (who has $50 for a new pair of shorts?), and if they don't want to, they can save their money. We have tried to teach them that we can't have everything - even though we all wish we could - so this is our way of meeting them in the middle.

Lastly, which probably should have been first -

RESPECT - I demand respect from my sons. They are wonderful kids but they need to know how to treat people properly. I used to say they need to know how to treat women, and Craig corrected me and said, "they should treat everyone with respect" and he was totally right. Chivalry is not dead. Whether you are a man or a woman - hold the door open, you don't need to be first, say thank you, have a nice day, smile at people, don't raise your voice unless absolutely necessary (like if you are singing happy birthday), and we will always be their parents. We deserve a level of respect that is second to none. We expect, we demand it and in return we give it. So many people people seem to expect respect from their children but may not reciprocate. I don't quite understand that. How else can they learn than by example?

So you may be reading this thinking I'm a blowhard. I am not trying to be. My kids are brats, but they are good brats. They are teenagers, which in my mind is the BEST age hands down. I LOVE IT - and I am not joking. I was supposed to write about something that I think I know about, and my guys are great, so this is what you get.