sob

This morning my son had to lean down to kiss me. Lean. Down. I almost collapsed. When did this happen? How did this happen? Wasn't it just yesterday he was wrapping his arms around my legs and I was swearing he was going to trip me? Wasn't it just yesterday that I wished for him to be big enough to give me a proper hug? I guess you get what you wish for. Damn wishing.

Dear Mom and Dad...

Dear mom and dad,

I'm sorry. I didn't realize and now I do. I'm shocked you didn't do more at the time. Yell, scream, threaten. Right now I feel like doing all three. My son has been playing the same song over and over again for an hour so loud that my fillings are rattling and if I ever meet the artist you will have to put me in cuffs so I don't beat him within an inch of his life. So, I'm sorry - for all those evenings you had to listen to "La Isla Bonita" by Madonna - while I rewound and fast forwarded dying to learn the lyrics. I'm sorry music was ever invented and I'm sorry for the permanent twitch you get whenever you hear music from the 80's and recall my warbling voice.

I hope you'll forgive me.
Now if only I can keep myself from going downstairs and smashing that iPod with a hammer!

I love you,
Shannon

A confession

... deep breath ....
I cannot make mashed potatoes to save my life. Even my darling husband agrees. Never cooked enough, never mashed enough, too mashed, too runny, too lumpy. Seriously, I can't do it. I have watched my mom make them a million times, giving me instructions, showing me what to do, and I still wreck them.

So, Craig kindly said to me (to put me out of my misery) "buy the instant ones, they're fine for us". I could have just kissed him. I probably did. A weight off my shoulders, a stomach ache gone and mashed potatoes with chicken.

I must confess that I don't like mashed potatoes. I can't stand how gooey they are. Like paste and paper, but my guys love them. So every once in a while, when mashed are called for - Betty Crocker comes for a visit.

I must admit....

I HATE doing the picture of the day. Really. Hate. It. So, I have decided not to do it anymore. I take a lot of pictures, ones which I will continue to show here. But every day? No chance. So for now you can be sure to get the weekly gnome picture and a smattering of a few others, but I can't promise any more than that. I'm sure it matters more to me than anyone else, but I had put out the challenge that I was going to do it and I just can't keep up. OK - my guilt can be gone now. I've said it.
Happy Saturday!

week 18

Better late than never? I don't think I have posted this photo on a friday before. Our week got away from us and last night I was ranting like a madwoman "we have to get the gnome picture". Imagine screeching. And hair pulling. The boys are always up for it but I would remember after they had left for school and then have something going on after school. Anyway, no excuse. Here it is and I think Sterling looks mahhhvelous in this picture. You can barely see Kaedo behind his hair.

Today includes doing some research into making some spring hats, some parent council work, hopefully a visit with a friend and family movie night. Tomorrow includes soccer, football and Costco. Sunday is a quiet day with not too much happening. We'll see what we end up doing then. Hope you have a great day.

damn you autocorrect

I love reading the autocorrect texts that sometime show up on-line. I recently read these and thought they were hysterical. Poor Craig was trying to work and I was laughing my head off. Enjoy.

mascot

The way we see it, every car needs a mascot - or at the very least, a name. This time around, our bright green car has both. Before even purchasing it, Craig and I gave it the name "the rolling toad", after our beloved Neon, "the rolling turd". Since getting the car we have been looking for something "toadlike" to put inside. We started with air freshners - obviously frog shaped ones are not popular - and moved on to antennae balls - still no luck.

On Sunday, Kaedo and Craig were cleaning (de-hoarding) his room and Kaedo came across not one but two frogs. This little guy was decided upon. Now all I have to do is get out my two sided tape and stick him down. Now we've got a name and a mascot. Who would have thunk it?

Poser

As I mentioned yesterday - a lot of fun was had outside this weekend. Kaedo and L went to the hill at the school by our place and of course Kaedo had to wear a helmet - Craig and I are a bit crazed about this - so he decided to add a pair of goggles to the ensemble. This is the final look. Sporty yet sassy. Love it!

catch up

Happy Sunday - playing catch up for the picture of the day today. Have still been taking photos but couldn't bring myself to get on the old blog yesterday!



Sterling loves music class - NOT - and his teacher knows it. She provides him with paper and a pencil during class to prevent him from being a distraction (must be nice). This is one of his masterpieces he has made in her class. Alien/zombie. Funny thing is that it is one of his best subjects. Either she's passing him just to get through the year or he really doesn't do too badly. Who knows.



For our anniversary, Stan and Shirley gave us this silver "globe". What's cool about it is that you can take pictures looking into it. Didn't say they were good pictures, but they are pictures! This is one of Kaedo and I. He seems to be the one around the most during picture time.



We got some snow here this weekend and Kaedo and his buddy L played outside for hours yesterday. This is one of Kaedo jumping into the snow. They had so much fun and it is great to see kids outside in the winter. I love it. During one of their breaks, Kaedo and L came in for hot chocolate and to play a little then quickly returned outside to play until dark.

18

I love my fridge. I love all the little bits of paper and drawings, and artwork and our calendar that cover so much of it. The kitchen is the hub of the house and the fridge (my favorite appliance - ha) makes me smile every time I open the door. So much of our lives reside on this door. I love it.

This week we were late in the day getting our photo taken. Sterling looks like he is about 6 feet tall. Today we were in a conference at his school about high school (yikes) and the principal said to Sterling, "you're what, about 6 ft tall now?" I just have to remember she's about 4'11", so 4th graders probably look tall.



Kaedo so badly wanted me to take a picture of him with Ketchup. This was the result. They both look so cute. Not sure what Ketchup was thinking but Kaedo was in 7th Heaven.

16

This is our kitchen table on any given day. 3 laptops, 3-4 cell phones, a couple of Playbooks and ice cream bowls. We are technically advanced yet somewhat childlike. Did I mention Kaedo's ice cream had chocolate chips and strawberry sauce???

playing catch-up

Kaedo gave Craig a box of chocolates for Christmas and the box was shaped like a football. Craig has wanted to build a hat stand for his numerous hats and the chocolate box he received was just the inspiration he needed. He created this cool stand that now displays all his hats, rather than piling them up one on top of the other. Craig - you rock!

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Anyone who has seen me in the last year knows that my hair has been pretty long - almost half way down my back as of Saturday. It was time for a change. Craig and I poured over new haircuts, because in this family long = good. I had just had enough - time for a change. This is a little shorter I anticipated but I'm quite in love with it. It has prompted me to really get dieting as now I have no hair to hide behind. Here's to hoping for more changes.

Sorry for two pix on one day - I couldn't get in gear to do this yesterday. Even bloggers need a day of rest, right? haha

++ i don't know why there is some random gibberish in the middle. Please disregard!

holy days?

Saw this sign on the front door of a local barber shop. I didn't realize there were any holy days this week. hmmmm

that smile

Today's picture is compliments of my beautiful baby boy. Not much of a baby anymore. He had on a purple shirt, bunny hug, hat and shoes and asked me if he could pass as a purple people eater. My guys are still so great about giving me the opportunity to take their picture.
Here at home we are pouring over high school letters, hoping to help Sterling choose the most appropriate classes for himself. I am concerned he hasn't set the bar high enough but we will talk more about it this weekend. He took an online test this week about where he should focus his career intentions. Craig and I were both surprised that they fell in line with what he would like to do. Yikes!
Weekend is almost here. That means back to soccer, Craig has football, a movie night at home, sleeping in on Sunday and getting a few things accomplished around here. Today I am making hats and staying indoors where it is nice and warm.

16 and 11

Week 16 and still no snow. We are enjoying this mild winter although if the weather forecast means anything it's going to be cold come the weekend. Might be a good time to stay home and watch 'Love Boat'. haha. Had 4 Facebook orders yesterday for hats. I'm looking forward to making them. I'm going to head out this morning and pick up the supplies. The Happy Hooker is back at it! I think I might prefer Crochet Queen. Not.

Yesterday we got the fright of our lives! We had pulled into the driveway and I popped the trunk for the boys to get their backpacks and just as they were opening the gate a cat jumped in! We were shocked to say the least. Then we just burst out laughing. I told the boys to make sure it didn't jump out and rushed into the house to get my camera. This is the picture I got. Then we had a hell of a time to get the nasty thing out of the car. Lots of funny noises, some shooing and a lot of laughs later we finally got it out of the car. Did I mention I hate cats?

I think for Christmas next year I am going to ask for a little pocket camera that takes great pictures. I would love to have a camera I could put in my purse and have handy whenever I needed it.

Dear Emma

Dear Emma -
I just wanted to thank you again for the wonderful gift you gave me. I have been watching every day and every day there seems to be a new little stem poking up. It is very exciting to watch my plant grow and every day I think of you and all the work you put in to making this for me. Thank you again, my sweet girl. I LOVE IT! It is one of the best presents anyone ever gave me. You're the best!

All my love,
Anti

Introducing....

... the Rolling Toad!!!
On Friday we took the car in to get a re-test for the emissions test that has to be done in Ontario. They did a diagnostics, gave us a conditional pass because it was too expensive for it to be fixed within the confines of the emissions program and sent us on our way.
Saturday morning Craig went to play football and at 1:30pm called me and told me the clutch had dropped out of the car and he was stranded. I went and picked him up and we went and checked out the prices to have it fixed. The cost was more than the car was worth. Our sickly looking Rolling TURD had run its last mile.
So, what were we to do? We went looking at used cars. The first place we went to the guy kept saying the car was "mint" - like 50 times. We almost believed him until they had to boost the battery. It was then that he informed us the battery was shot. Mint - ya right!
We drove around looking at dealerships and stumbled upon one that had a lot of nice cars on the lot. We drove in and talked to the owner and he told us he had just gotten "our" car in from a Mazda dealership as a trade in. It was being detailed but we were able to go and take a look at it. At first we were a little shocked at how green it was. Really green. Once we got past that we took a good look - power doors, windows, CD player, sunroof, brand new tires, perfect upolestry and a tonneau to cover the back of the wagon. We made arrangements to come back on Sunday for a test drive.
We continued on our way and kept looking and got up early on Sunday and went looking again, but something pulled us back to the Toad. We test drove a few but nothing really clicked. We headed back up to the dealership and took it out for a spin. We were thrilled. It drove like a dream. We drove it down bumpy roads, took it up to 100, took the boys for a spin and booted around town. We had found our car.

In its later life we called the Neon the Rolling Turd as it really had become a crappy car. BUT, it got us where we needed to go and that's all we asked. We loved that car. It was the first thing Craig and I bought together and it has followed us wherever we have gone. It was sad to say goodbye. We did take some souvenirs though - the jack and spare tire - haha! (after all, it was going to the junk yard)

So, in saying that - I named the new car the Rolling TOAD due to its intense green color. It's so cute I might just call it the Toad! We pick her up at 1pm and I am so excited! I've decided she's a she as I'm sick of being out numbered in this family. It's time to even things up a little!

sheer genius

I don't comment much on products, especially not cleaning products, but I will tell you this about these wipes, they are brilliant. I love them. They come in a three pack, 2 for everyday cleanups and one with extra scrubbers. Lemon and orange. Does it get any better than that? When mom and dad were here we had talked about how quickly the dishrags go bad and I recalled having used these in the past so I picked up another pack of them and my kitchen smells fresh and lemony. Note to self: Do not put food on freshly cleaned counter. Man-made lemon taste does not go well on a piece of toast!

Leaning tower...of Pizza

Last night Kaedo and I made homemade pizza. It was fun and delicious. While waiting for it to cook, we took a look through the oven window and saw this huge air bubblr growing right in the middle of one of them. First we burst out laughing, then we took pictures, THEN we poked it and let it continue cooking. All I could think was 'thank god it wasn't the pizza on the bottom!

Saturday

Today is a regular day here at home. Craig has gone to football, I slept in a little, the boys are playing video games, I`ve talked to the fam in Florida and now I am sitting down with my Playbook (thanks again Craig - YOU ROCK) watching OLD episodes of the Love Boat. My favorite show as a kid, my favorite show as an adult. I`m addicted to the cheesy, funny, lovely way the show was created and am amazed at how many big named stars made appearances. I can`t get enough of it. Anyway - if you`re wondering what I`m doing I`m sitting on my chair, in the sun, watching people fall in love. Wasn`t called the Love Boat for no reason!

another day

Had a great day with the fam today. Love it when that happens. We had doctors appointments this morning and our doc looked a little overwhelmed when he saw all of us in the room. It wasn't too bad - we took it easy on him. Headed to Costco and did a little shopping and prescription refills. Headed home to pick up the car from the mechanics (gasp - yuck) and then went and licensed the damn thing. It's a good thing I love that rolling turd so much or it would be on the junk heap. I think that's where the mechanic thought it belonged. haha
We came home and Kaedo played video games while the rest of us ran errands and spent the afternoon 'just doing'.
Craig is cooking Chicken Fried Rice for supper - yum - and then we'll probably continue our MacGyver marathon and round it out with some "Dance Party 3" action.
This is the last day of holidays for Craig and the boys and we have had such a great Christmas vacation. Now if only I could get the kids to go to bed!!!!

week 15 - day 4

We thought it would be fun to take our travelling gnome down south and snag our weekly gnome picture with him. The boys made their best scores at Under Armour - check out the fancy new duds - so it seemed right to get their picture there. This is taken right outside the door. Would have brought my big gnome but didn't want to carry him through the shops.

One of our goals was to get new shoes for Kaedo. Thank god we found some. The others were ripped, torn, worn out and VERY ugly. As you can see from the picture there really wasn't much shoe left. Much to my surprise he put on the new ones in the mall and threw the old ones in the garbage. Maybe that was his New Year resolution - out with the old and in with the new.

3 and a day trip

I must confess - this is what our sink looks like when we neglect to turn the dishwasher on. Sure we could wash all the dishes, but where is the fun in that? Did I mention that this daily chronicle would have all different things??? I bet you didn't think 'dirty dishes'.
Heading into the USA today to do some shopping, some browsing, some laughing, some crying (border wait times) and lots of having fun. There really is nothing funnier than seeing the face of the clerk at Wal-Mart when I buy 10 boxes of the same cereal. Except maybe watching the kids fill their cart with junk food at Target.
No matter what we will have a great time. I am planning to bring gnomee or our travel gnome along with my camera so we can get a shot down there. I love my travelling gnome pictures from our trip to Disney.

Have you ever tried to take a picture of yourself in the bathroom mirror? Thank god for digital cameras where you can delete the 30 outtakes that occur when trying to get at least one which doesn't make you look like Quasimodo.

year 4-0

Being as this is the year of my 40th birthday, and remembering a cool idea Jessica presented me with some time ago, I have decided I am going to take a picture a day and post them on the blog. I am hoping to be successful. It is quite a large commitment but I really believe in preserving our history, not just the events, but every day life. My plan is to have pictures of family, things, bits and pieces of our lives. I HOPE it works out and hope you enjoy this year in pictures.

Happy New Year

Hello to all - wishing you a very Happy New Year.
2011 was a tough one for our family and we worked hard together and with the support of our extended family to keep afloat. We were and are very blessed with having parents and siblings who support us and love us and do everything they can for us. For that I thank you.

I thought I would recap some of the things (that I can remember) about the past year.

January 1st was rainy just as it is today. I remember going to Darlington Park for some family pictures. One of the best pictures ever taken of Craig was taken that day. We had high hopes for the coming year.

In February I started getting sick and by April I was on disability from work. At the time we had thought I had had a nervous breakdown and I spent many months working to get better.

In July Jessica and the girlies came and spent 10 days with us. It was magical and lovely and we had a great time.

In August mom and dad came for two weeks and stayed with us and I loved it. It was just what the doctor ordered. I needed some care from my mom and dad and they never, not even for a moment, let me down. I wasn't working and was able to spend a lot of time with them. Also in August, Stan and Shirley came and spent a week with us. It was such a treat to have them here. They took the pressure off of me and were a wonderful help.

In September Kaedo started grade 7 and Sterling started grade 8. I started a day treatment program for 6 weeks and while it was hard and a lot of tears were shed, it was good and I learned a lot about myself.

In October we got confirmation that mom and dad and Jessica and the girlies would be here to spend Christmas with us. I was so excited.

In November I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia and while it was a shock, it brought all my struggles into focus. I felt I was able to put the pieces together. Things that had been going on for 25 years suddenly became clear.

In December mom and dad arrived early for our Christmas celebration and we were able to spend 10 days together. Closer to Christmas Jessica and the girlies arrived and we celebrated in grand style. They all left for the warmer climates on the 28th and now we are back to being four.

Yesterday the boys bought new cell phones with their Christmas money and have been playing away with them, texting their friends, downloading apps and having fun. Last night we ate treats and sat around and watched 'MacGyver' on DVD. Wonderful show from the 80s which the kids think is cheesy but Craig and I love. After that we cracked open 'Dance Party 3' for the xBox and had a lot of laughs trying to outdo each other with our stylin' moves. We rang in the new year 2 minutes late and by 12:30am we were in bed. It was a wonderful evening.

Today we were going to do some pictures but no one is interested in the pouring rain. Maybe tomorrow.

Many more things happened this year but these are the ones that stick in my head. I know the Internet is public and that anyone can access this blog just by googling it but I felt that for the new year I needed to put it out there. I needed people to know that yes, I have a mental illness BUT it DOES NOT have me. Am I different? Yes, a little. Am I still me? Yes, a lot. I have fought hard for 'piece of mind' and battled the stigma and loss of self-worth I have put upon myself for so many years. This is not a new battle. It is 25 years in the making. This year I hope to get much better, hope to get back to work, hope to live a full life, hope to educate others about mental illness.

So for those of you close to me who have held my hand while I've cried, shared in my happiness, knocked down those walls, I love you. I truly don't know what this past year would have been like without you.

2012 is a big year - I can feel it. I hope you can too.