An Announcement....Drumroll Please!

We are so thrilled to announce that Sterling was awarded an Ontario Youth Apprenticeship Program (OYAP) Scholarship! His hard work, dedication, obsession, people skills, personality, wisdom and ability to charm everyone he comes in contact with earned him one of only 20 that were awarded. 291 students applied.

Sterling's dream is to work on cars. Where he will specialize, we don't know. But what we do know is that as of February 1 he will no longer be considered a high school student, but a college student in a apprenticeship program. He will spend 2 days a week on campus and three days a week in a shop, learning and working. At the end of June, should he do as amazingly well as we know he will, he will earn his Level 1 Apprentice certification. To put how valuable this is into perspective, students graduating college after being in a two year automotive program have zero apprentice hours.

Ultimately the hope is that he remains with the shop and they, along with the OYAP program, help Sterling become a certified mechanic, assisting him through the mandatory two remaining levels of certification.

Should he not be able to find a shop that has the right ratio to allow for an apprentice, he will go to college for two years and then look for a placement in his field.

We are so very proud of him and everything he has done to get to this place in his life. He is a shining star and his hard work and a million other fabulous things about him has paid off.

Congratulations Sterling!

First Day of School

Summer School that is!

Craig and I are very popular these days in the school department. We made the decision that the boys had to attend one semester of Summer School this year. Not a punishment, as they are both honor roll students, but to give them the opportunity to a) get an extra credit without having to give up a much anticipated option in September and b) because we do our children a disservice giving them 9 weeks of holidays.

I have always been a proponent of year round school and I believe that especially in high school/college/university, students should be learning about what it's like to live in the real world. We spend so much time talking to them about the do's and don'ts of life that we don't prepare them for the workforce they will go into (unless that is teaching) in which they will only get two weeks vacation, and then only after having worked for a year to earn it. High school students in our Province (and many others) go to school for 5.5 hours a day. They get approximately 4 months off a year when all the PA days, holidays, breaks and Summer are factored in. How is this setting them up for life? Kids don't need the time off - school is their job and they don't work full time.

So, we told the boys that they each needed to take a one month summer school class and get an A in order to be off in August. If they get an A, they are free for the month to work their jobs, do their chores, and hang out with their friends.

Their friends have asked me not to tell their moms because they don't want to go. What other parents choose to do or not do is up to them. For us we believe we are working towards preparing them for real life, and let face it, high school/college/university doesn't do that.

One friend of mine commented that she thought the kids deserved the break. My reply is simple - when you have worked full time long enough to amass the holidays, you are definitely entitled to them. Until then, the best thing for teenagers is to be busy, engaged and not out cruising, spending their money and making poor choices.

When I go to bed at night, I never lie awake thinking "if only they had 10 hours a day of being unsupervised - that would be great".

So, you may agree, you may disagree, I don't really care. My children contribute to their schools during the 8 months they go, make good marks, and now they go to summer school. It shouldn't be an option.

So unless every high schooler is given a full time job to keep them busy and learning about the work force - which they will all enter at some point, school seems like the best answer.

How can anyone disagree with giving their children every edge, every opportunity, every chance to maybe take something they wouldn't, or fall in love with a class that wasn't in their timetable? We could be changing the way our children see their future. The possibilities are there. We give them every opportunity to play any sport they want, try any activity, but for some reason, the thought of learning, the thought of being in school in summer is horrible. The only real question is what are we teaching our kids if they don't believe that any opportunity is better than no opportunity?

How do I write this?

It was tragic news I received today upon reading some of the crochet feeds I follow. A brilliant young crochet artist and blogger committed suicide. She was 28. A baby. While I had yet to create something from one of the beautiful patterns she designed and gave freely to others, I had seen her work many times and was awed by her skill and artistry. She spoke candidly about the severe depression that plagued her and that she did not know if she would be able to find the light at the end of the tunnel. While warning flags should have gone up everywhere, ultimately it was her choice to fight or not.

I am not and will not judge the decision to commit suicide as I know the statistics and real world feelings as I have spoken with too many adolescents about their belief that suicide is the only way to end the sadness, the pain, the ignorance, the unknowing. To them I say this, "even in my darkest days I would NEVER give up being mentally ill or being diagnosed with a multi-faceted severe mental illness". Why? What I have makes up who I am, it has created the amazing children I have who know how to listen, look for signs, help their friends, talk and get help when necessary. It has created a bond with my husband that no one would ever understand as it has been built on a foundation of love, learning and understanding far beyond that of a traditional marriage. Craig and the boys didn't sign up for this, but they haven't given up, either. Because of that, I never will. I will never leave this world until it is ultimately my time. I will never leave them. They are my core. My people. I believe that when you are born, the day of your death is chosen for you and from that first moment, the clock counts down. This is not morbid, as I plan for my clock to keep ticking for at least another 50 years. I also believe that I will never do anything to run down that clock quicker than necessary. I still have so much to do, so much to accomplish, so much to bear witness to.

My sadness, and believe me there have been many tears today for this beautiful young woman, is that we as a population don't know what to do, can't do it, don't want to do it, refuse to believe it, and in the end a life worth living is extinguished and a family is left to pick up the pieces with so many questions unanswered.

So, if you do nothing else today, look around you - really look - at the people in your life. Give a hug, send a text, offer a shoulder, say I love you. You know who is struggling, don't let your fear stop you from doing the right thing, the human thing. And if you are struggling, I am here. I will listen, I will text, I will talk, I will do what you need. Because so many of you have done that for me.

While I do not believe in any version of a God, many people do. I ask those of you that do to not make suicide a sin as many religions believe, for you would not want someone to judge you this way. May you only hope that should someone believe in God, that in committing suicide they go to Heaven, as perhaps in their mind this is where they will finally be at peace. That is what a true believer would do. Wish. Wish for their peace. And so that is what I do - I don't pray, ever - but I do wish - wish for peace, that finally after living a life she could no longer bear to live, she has finally found the peace she was unable to find on Earth. In whatever form that may be. As Christians, non-Christians, believers and non-believers, a wish for peace is the kindest thing we can do.

And to her family, I cannot imagine your pain, your guilt, the tragedy.  I wish for your pain to lessen over time, I hope that you understand that this decision was hers and hers alone and that guilt has no place in this, and lastly that when you can, you speak of her and her talent, and beauty and struggles. That you teach and learn and help. I am so profoundly sorry for your loss.

Happy Birthday Kaedo!!!!!

Happy Birthday Kaedo!

How it can be that our baby is 16?

Based on that, I have scoured our hard drive and found 16 pictures that are adorable, embarrassing and every bit as lovely as he is.

Kaeden is a kind, gentle and caring soul, who is loving and generous with his time (but not his money - LOL). He is smart and engaging when he is interested in something and will research obsessively about something that he wants to know more about. While he will never make a decision about what to do, he will happily join in on whatever is going on - usually! He is not interested in doing things he doesn't want to do, and while understands that sometimes you have to, he has learned early that life is too short to do what you hate. A lesson we could all learn from him.

He loves soccer, hanging out with his friends, the movies, school, and after today, longboarding. He is best friends with his brother and of that we are so thrilled. They've always got each others back and stand beside each other as a united front against the world. Everyone should be so lucky to have someone like that in their lives. He is a wonderful son who still loves to hang out with his mom and dad - YAY!

He has the best sense of humor in our family. He is quick, deadly accurate in his observations and witty. He is quick to throw a funny jab and never hurts people's feelings. His favorite word is "phrasing".

He is the most stubborn individual I have ever met, and much too competitive for my liking, but being stubborn and not backing down has stopped him from falling into the traps some of his peers have fallen into. Being stubborn, has pushed him back from a debilitating knee injury and surgery, right on to the soccer field, playing the game he loves. We have to give him mad props for that.

As the quieter of our two sons, he is often in the shadows behind his gregarious brother and not seen for the miraculous, amazing individual he is. He loves with his whole heart and while he may not always speak up, he shows in his actions and kindness how truly amazing he is. My hope is that one day he steps out of the shadows so that everyone can see who we see.

And so today we celebrate Kaeden's 16th birthday with a shopping trip for a longboard, lunch out, dinner at Jack Astors, singing, laughter and the realization that we as a family will move heaven and earth to be with each other on his special day.

On a personal note - Kaedo - I love you more than I could ever express and I am so proud of you and the person you have become. You are a bright light in this world. A shining beacon of goodness. While your presence is often quiet, the dignity in which you live your life is something we can all learn from. Keeping being you, my baby boy as there is no one else like you.  You will change the world. Quietly, effectively and with great impact. I believe in you and have since the moment you were born. 

Happy birthday my love! 

Aren't you doing the blog anymore?

So says my mother on the first and second day of their two week visit. Yes mom, I am still doing the blog. I promise.

Having started the blog in its current format in June of 2007, and since then having written 1766 posts, had 57,647 page views, made some people angry, some laugh, some cry, I have tried to be as honest as possible. Some people like what I write, some people are perplexed at what I choose to write about, some people like and some people dislike my soapbox.

So why haven't I written in weeks? The reason is simple and yet not. My family is busy. Both Craig and I work full time, the kids go to school, both work jobs, Kaedo has soccer, and to be honest, by the time we get home at night, we are tired and the issues that I would like to discuss on the blog, are not meant for this audience. I walk a very fine line between believing that this is my blog and I should write what I believe in and feel strongly about, all the while, balancing the fact the readers of the blog may very well be offended and angry by my opinions on the subjects that affect my family and the families that we are friends with.

Because of this, I have found it hard to write, as all I want to do is pour out my frustration, and this is not the place for it.

So for now, until I can decide what else to write about, and until some of the activities that we will partake in during my mom and dad's visit have pictures and stories to go with them, we have called a radio silence on the blog.

I am a dog with a bone, and Craig and my mom tell me this is a soapbox better not shared here.

So mom, the blog continues, but for right now, until I have something to write about that is fun and appropriate for this audience, things are a little slow. I am hoping for pictures of the Honda Indy, the races and other fun things, to fill this space, But it takes time, photos, adventures and the proper frame of mind to make this work.

A special thank you to my mom and dad for coming yesterday to hear my last speaking engagement of this school year. It was an honor to have you there and an honor to be able to 'honor you' (which I hope I did) for everything you have done for me and continue to do for me, Thank you.

Kaedo has this disgusting toe with only half a nail. He thought adding eyes would be funny. He's weird. Oh, and that's my comforter. The nicest part of this picture.

Like I said, weird.

And so it begins...

This gorgeous guy starts U19 soccer tonight! He is so pumped. He gets to be #2 - his fave. He will be playing with 17-19 year olds. Only two U16 players moved up to U19. This is a coed team, and I am a big proponent of co-ed sports. I think it teaches the opposite sexes how to work with each other, how to communicate and how to play as a team. Kaedo played Co-ed through the Winter and I thought it was very good. The one thing I noticed is that at the beginning of the season, the guys were scared to check the girls. Due to this, the girls kicked their asses. As the season progressed they got on a more level playing field. Social dynamics - I love them!

At this age, most teams are co-ed as there are not enough elite players of one sex to field a team, or not enough interest from kids of this age to continue playing. It is a true love of the game that keeps them on the field. We are looking forward to a fun Summer at the field. Now I just have to remember my headphones so I don't have to listen to asshole parents coaching from the sidelines.

Here are some pictures of our front deck and front garden. This year we have gone with a blue and purple theme, which is funny because i don't even like the color purple. I do however, love my flag and that's what got this going. We purchased the cane chair and dresser from the flea market and Sterling painted the dresser fronts and chair blue. We added flowers, hens & chicks, and a Mandevilla Vine along with some old wash boards and a very cool herb garden. My tulips came up amazingly well and I couldn't bring myself to cut them and bring them in. We have weeded the garden and have lots of perennials coming up. We hung an ampersand on the wall and now are hunting for a K and an L.

The weather is being a little up and down at night so many things are still being covered, but I am very happy with the outcome.

I can't wait for mom and dad to see it next month and with luck, some may still be in good shape at the end of Summer when Stan and Shirley come to visit!

Morning Dove

Craig and I came across a Morning Dove sitting in a nest in our Weeping Mulberry Tree about 10 days ago.  We hadn't even noticed her and were on the inside of the umbrella of the tree checking the old branches when we looked over and there she was, just staring at us. She never moved a muscle.  Over the last 10 days I have repeatedly checked on her to see how she was doing and when I headed to work this morning she was gone. I thought maybe the eggs had hatched but I've just asked Craig and he says she was back in the nest when he went out later this morning. Time will tell if we may get to see some chicks. We'll keep you posted.

What's the going rate for tree rental?

43

As we have not yet mastered the 4 people selfie, Craig was kind enough to take this picture of me with the boys last night at dinner. Thanks to Jessica we went to Swiss Chalet after Craig and I finished work and before Sterling started.

Thank you to everyone who called and sang and texted. Thank you for your wonderful gifts. Thank you cards are in the mail!

All in all a very nice day that I will speak more about, and show off some of my new favorite things, later this week.

Just wanted to pop in and say thank you!

Happy Birthday to Me!

In honor of my 43rd birthday, I thought I'd post some of my favorite quotes, so here goes:

1. If I had a British Accent I'd never shut up.

2. Lazy is a very strong word. I like to call it 'selective participation'.

3. My level of sarcasm depends on your level of stupidity.

4. People think I'm shy, but I really have no interest in talking to you idiots.

5. Exercise? I thought you said Extra Fries.

6. Awesome things will happen to you today if you choose not to be a miserable cow.

7. Screw your "Lab Safety" I want Superpowers.

and lastly, my favorite:

"That's What"
          - She

Nothing special planned for today. Craig, Sterling and I work and we are planning a birthday celebration in June, so I think we'll have cake and singing for mom, dad, Kaedo and I then. Then I can also convince my mom to make linguine and clam sauce for my birthday dinner as I know that will never happen otherwise.

Here's to another year!

Sterling's New Job

We are so proud of Sterling and all the hard work he did to secure a new job at Wendy's. He saw the sign at the restaurant, picked up an application, updated his resume, duded up in his dad's clothes and went in there to WOW them all.

When he dropped off his application, he asked if anyone would like to speak with him further and after reviewing his resume and THREE amazing reference letters from teachers at his school, they asked him to return the next day for an interview.

So off he went the next day and met with the GM and another manager. They shot the shit and asked some questions and at the end asked if Sterling had any questions and Sterling asked, "when will you be making a decision?", to which the GM replied (after looking at his watch), "in about 38 seconds". Success!!!!

New shoes - check
Black dockers - check
One day of training done - check

He is hoping to make both jobs work through the Summer. We'll see!

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms in my life. Craig and I are wishing you the most wonderful of days. I will get the opportunity to spend the afternoon with two of my favorite people in the whole wide world and the man sexy enough to share this journey with me.

This morning we went for our usual Sunday breakfast, and this afternoon we are seeing the new Avengers movie (yay!!!) which I am so excited to see. Love those movies. Will maybe do some gardening this afternoon and will take it easy after working 47 hours this past week.

I have been a mom for 18 years. Wow! Can't believe it! I think I have said it before, being a mom is not the hardest job I have ever done, but it is certainly that I have worked at being my best at. My sons make me proud every day with their kindness, caring personalities, the fact that they accept me and love me for who I am, my flaws and all. They have grown up to be exactly who I had always hoped they would and I couldn't be more proud of myself or them.

While it is Mother's Day, I must give big kudos to Craig for doing everything in his power to help me be the best mom I can. Thank you Craig. I wouldn't be a great mom without you.

Usually I am too self-deprecating (I am told), but the one thing I am sure of in life is that I am a kick-ass mom!

Happy Mother's Day everyone!

An heir and a spare - as they say

I woke up (way too early, I might add) to read the Kate had had her baby, a little girl. A new Princess in the Monarchy. While, I don't know William and Kate, have never met little George, it was such an exciting thing to read.

I love the royals and have been a royal watcher for years, and while many people don't understand and don't like the Monarchy, it has no effect on us as Canadians and therefore I don't understand the hoopla. It's not as if the queen brings down royal decrees upon us and we seem more than happy to wait for days to catch a glimpse of the royals when they visit our country.

Whether the Monarchy was becoming outdated and unnecessary in England, is not for me to judge. Although I suppose since it's my blog, I will. The Monarchy seems to work for them, and the new generation, specifically William, Kate and Harry have added a new life into old traditions. They are a bright light shone on centuries old tradition, pomp and circumstance. They have shown the world they are real people, living real and yet extraordinary lives. While Kate married into the life, William and Harry have been thrust into it and have been such remarkable leaders for their generation. William is the first heir to the throne to ever hold a job outside that of royal duties, Harry set in place the Invictus Games, as well as fighting for his Country, and has shown us all that there is nothing wrong with both working hard and having fun.

Kate, well, she is quite simply amazing to me. Educated, smart, empathetic, caring, beautiful, kind and while she knew what she was getting into when she married William, she stated from the beginning that she would do things on her terms, and she has. She has stepped up and performed her royal duties regally and wonderfully and she has also stayed true to her roots and the person her parents raised her to be. The first official picture of her and William and George was taken by her father in her parent's backyard. She's cool like that.

We all admire someone. Someone we think embodies characteristics that we believe we hold, wish we held or are impressed in the way they present themselves. Isn't it a shame that we have these wonderful examples of people who give their lives to family and service and yet people believe that they should not have the life they have. On top of that, so many hold people with far less moral conviction and family values in higher esteem. Basketball players charged with rape, people who are famous but beat their spouses, murderers, drug dealers and rappers who sing about misogyny and bigotry. To be honest, I don't get it. While I have 10 years on William and Kate and more than that on Harry, I look up to them and the things they do.

Do we need the Monarchy in Canada? No, not really. But it is tradition, and while we are so quick to stand behind some of our Country's traditions - some of which are exclusionary and bigoted, we are quick to want to walk away from this. Makes no sense to me.

So today I say welcome to the new Princess, congratulations to Will and Kate and their families, hurray for Prince George and the little sister he will get to terrorize and thank you for bringing me so many hours of pleasure reading about you and your family. Thank you for the good you do, the example you set and the kindness you show. Wishing you happiness and health as you add this beautiful baby to your family.

I can't wait to hear her name. I'm sure Diana will be there somewhere.

The G-Man

This little cutie is just the love of our lives. Man he is a sweetheart. I can't believe he poses like this with his back legs stuck out. So funny. He is so good. He loves popcorn, especially with cheddar cheese seasoning. He loves to play with toys and must have 20 of them. He loves to gnaw on elk antlers. His favorite place is the dog park. He's a racist and seems to prefer white dogs. We are trying to train this out of him. So far it isn't going so well. He has no idea he only weighs 8lbs and will take on any dog of any size. He has an underbite and needs braces but we can't afford them. Plus we hate brushing his teeth, so that won't be happening. He loves to have his belly rubbed and he is not picky as to who gives them to him. He doesn't sleep in a kennel, but on the couch, or the chair or the other couch, or quite frankly anywhere he wants (except our beds). He doesn't chew on shoes but I have to chicken wire my favorite plant because that he will eat. Like Ketchup he loves pizza crust. He also seems to love rabbits and I wonder if he will murder again this year. He is so happy when you come home and jumps around like he hasn't seen you in 5 years and has been waiting patiently at the door for your return. What an ego boost!

I guess in the end, what he is is a very important part of our family. He isn't one of our kids, and we don't love him to distraction. He is our pet and a little more. For Craig, he is someone who will patiently sit and do tricks just so Craig can say he did it, and G can get more treats. For Kaedo he is the being that filled the void left by Ketchup and made his heart full again. For Sterling, he is his best friend - I think Sterling loves him most of all. For me, he is the calm in my head, the one who chases away the noise and helps me see that I can get through the day. Some days he is my dog, some days he is my savior.

For all of us he is the cherry on top of a wonderful family.

So I've been told....

Sterling mentioned to me today that the blog had not been updated in "quite some time". Hmmm. Nothing like pressure from your 17 year old. So here goes.

A couple of weeks ago the boys made this contraption out of an old table of ours, one they found on the curb down the street, some wood they bought at Home Depot and a tarp.  They also pounded a table leg so far into the ground that an earthquake couldn't dislodge it. Next they took spray paint and drew targets like they were on acid. I would like to point out how incredibly cool it is that my kids build monstrosities like this. So the question is this - why?

Sterling has caught some of Kaedo's fascination with knives.  Did I mention that the fascination has turned to throwing knives? A lot of throwing knives. Like 30 throwing knives. Before the weather turned to shit and it rained for 6 days, they spent hours out there throwing knives and laughing like hyenas. To be quite honest, I can't believe they haven't either a) hit a major artery or b) hit each other. They have however hit the neighbors pool, sent them over the fence and begged for forgiveness from the neighbor with little kids.

I should mention, this was before I forced them to build this monstrosity. Now they are relatively safely throwing knives at shit. And the table leg? That's for pop cans, bottles of water and anything else they can make explode. 

What I wish I would have gotten was a picture of the zombie printouts they had pinned up there. LOL

For the record, I blame Stan and Shirley for this knife fascination. Craig's Bowie knife is a thing of legend around here (that sounds a little dirty) and he was quick to mention he was always fascinated by knives as a kid. So thanks Stan. Thanks Shirley. You rock.

In their defense, they probably wouldn't have let Craig collect over 70 knives. Mind you, who knows - there was no eBay back then.

The End of an Era

In 1995, Craig and I made our first big purchase together. A living room set. The tables went years ago in a garage sale and one of the boys have the chair in their room but today the old beat up couch and love seat got picked up by the City, and taken away. The things that couch has seen and heard - LOL. We thought we should commemorate the end of the era of this set by getting a picture taken of us. Not to be too hillbilly, we left it on the curb and continued with our day instead of sitting outside on it all afternoon.

It seems like such a small thing when you think about it, but we have laughed and cried, slept and watched movies, watched our babies sleep, folded laundry, ate meals and snacks, had family meetings and family visits, all on this furniture.

With tears and duct tape and really no need for it any more, it was time to go. I watched them load it up this morning and it pulled on my heart a little.

I may be a soapbox loving grade A bitch sometimes, but I'm still a softy at heart. Just don't tell anyone.

Happy Birthday!

I have been sitting here for 30 minutes, trying to thinking of something to write (gasp) all I can come up with is:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

YOU ROCK!

I love you!

Heavily Fortified

Kaedo has a fascination with knives. One I will lay at Craig's feet, but that both of us have allowed. The picture here shows a sample of the knives he has collected, but does not include throwing knives and a Katana sword he picked up earlier this year.

To say he loves them, would be an understatement. While he does buy new throwing knives off eBay, the majority are vintage or antique that he has bought in flea markets and antique shops. He had initially started storing them in a letterpress tray, but the size and quantity have outgrown this. (maybe I should confiscate the tray???)

Sterling and Kaedo have set up a system in the back yard for throwing the knives, and G is very unhappy he doesn't get the backyard for his own play place. I'm not sure how you would explain a knife to the gut of your dog the your friendly neighborhood vet.

For now, we are letting him enjoy the fun, and this cool hobby.

Yikes!

Friday

As it thunders and lightnings here and the rain pours down, I just think how thankful I am for the life I have. For the life I provide for myself, that Craig provides for me and the joy my sons bring to my life every minute of the day. I see my tulips growing in my garden, and the flowers scattered around my house and know that Life is Good. No one can tell me otherwise.

We all have our trials and tribulations but at the very base of it, for me, with family, a roof over my head, a job I love, a calling I love, and flowers - oh so many flowers (lol), I know that I can face whatever the day throws at me. So I leave you today with a picture of some tulips that are lazing away on my kitchen table, enjoying knowing that someone thinks they are so very beautiful.

Happy Friday my friends. May the force be with you. (kickin' it old school with that reference)

For Cheryl

In January 2000 I started working at a scrapbook store in Calgary, almost 6 months to the day after Kaedo was born. A sweet clerk taught me the ropes, worked with me and quickly became one of my dearest friends. I remember the days when Craig would come barreling into the store, Kaedo in his car seat and Sterling by the hand, informing me that "time for your break, Kaedo needs to be fed". Never did she judge me, she just chuckled, sent me to the back classroom and covered while I nursed my tiny baby.

Over the years we spent time together at work and outside of it. We shopped together, quilted together, scrapbooked together, had dinner and went to the movies. All the while working and raising our families.

When I moved across the country 3.5 years later, she threw me a wonderful surprise going away party and wished me all the the best for my new life.  For quite a few years we stayed in contact, and I even had the opportunity to host her here for a long weekend, where we laughed and cried and took a trip to Niagara Falls and crossed the border and spent so much the border guards charged us duty. I visited and spent time with her when I returned to Alberta and as always our conversations resumed as if they had never ended.

Over the years we lost contact and a sadness for my lost friend settled in my heart. I started searching for her. There were so many things I wanted to tell her.

As a non-lover of Facebook, but after running out of ideas, I started searching for her there. She was nowhere to be found. Then I thought of her daughter, and about four months ago I sent her a message, explaining who I was and that I wanted to get in contact with her mom. I never heard from her. I feared my friend had died. Why she would have, who knows, but all I could think was that for some reason I was getting no response. We had not fought or ended our relationship. I was stumped.

Then yesterday I get a message from her sweet daughter telling me she had come across my message and that she had spoken to her mom and she gave me her contact info.

It was seriously the best thing to ever come out of Facebook. EVER. Within a minute of the message I was writing to my friend, telling her about my family and trying to find the words to express how very much I wanted her in my life. So I waited, and waited and nothing. Then this morning, a reply. One of the best emails I have received in years.

The one thing that stood out for me was that even after all these years, she still reads the blog.

So, Cheryl, this is for you. You were the best friend I ever had. You are kind, generous and amazing and I am so happy we have re-connected. I look so forward to the many more emails and the day we finally talk on the phone again. Maybe one day we will see each other and get to laugh and joke and I will just be able to hug you again and tell you I've missed you.

I love you my friend - lets never lose touch again!

Dating and raising boys. What's luck got to do with it?

It has been a long time since I have been on a 'date'. Almost 21 years. However, this afternoon I watched a clip of an interview with Garth Brooks, who 14 years ago gave up performing to raise his three daughters after his divorce. In the 3 minute clip, he was asked for 5 tips for raising daughters. One really struck a cord with me.

Garth Brooks has the same rule as we do - no one-on-one dating until 16. He also gave each of his daughters cars when they got their licenses at 16. This too is something I strongly believe in - boys or girls.

So this was his tip - if a boy wants to date his daughter, he better come to the door and introduce himself. If he honks his horn, he might as well keep driving. Along with that, he had an agreement with his daughters that while the boy had come to the house, the daughters always drive on the first date with any boy. His logic is that being the driver gives them the control to cut the date short, come home if they are feeling pressured or not having a good time and gives them the independence to make the decisions that are best for them.

Let me just say that although I am the mother of boys, one of which has his own car, I am in full agreement with this and think that any young man that does not understand and appreciate this is not worth the first date. My sons included.

Like my parents, we have been hit with some backlash over giving Sterling a car when he got his license, and I am sure we will get more in February when it is Kaedo's turn. The reason behind it is simple. My children are in as much control as they can be, of their destiny, their safety, their happiness, when they have the power to just leave. Sterling has on a couple of occasions left situations, and while Craig and I would go to get him, no questions asked, the power of having his own car, gives him the strength to walk away and know that he is responsible for his choices because he has an 'out'. I am happy that we have chosen to do this for our sons. Not just for the above reasons, but for the responsibility it teaches them.

The one hard and fast, no exceptions rule we have, is that no child is allowed in the car unless I hear from their parents first. If the parents can't take 1 minute to call me so that I know that they know that it is a 17 year old driving their child, not an adult, they are not allowed.  Sterling has caught a lot of flak for that one, as parents don't seem to understand, or care and kids think we are assholes.  We are talking children driving children. Added to that, I don't let the boys get in a car with anyone I haven't met and spoken with.  A couple of weeks ago I got a call from a dad who said, "I have never had to make a call like this before for a simple trip to the bowling alley, but thank you". When Sterling and his friend picked her up, he went to the door, shook hands, introduced himself and made me proud. His list of friends who drive with him is growing, but there are some parents who refuse to call. It's their loss, and their child's loss. The boys know this is an unbreakable rule. They may get away with it the first time, but I'll find out, and when I do, no amount of begging will get them back in their car. I only wish more parents understood.

As toddlers and young children, we set out rules and parameters for our kids. As they grow older, so many parents seem to feel that they are no longer able to do so. We do not have a lot of rules, but the ones we have are strictly adhered too. Teenagers need boundaries, rules, expectations. Not to keep them in line, but to give them something to strive for, to see that we respect them and expect them to respect us. They need to understand that what we do is for their safety, happiness and well-being, and if at any time they disagree we can talk about it, make adjustments. The time between when school gets out and parents get home is the most dangerous time of the day, in my opinion. More children are conceived by children, more alcohol is consumed and more drugs are tried. I know this to be true because my children speak to me, they tell me what their classmates are doing. It scares the hell out of me. So we have rules. About girls, about alcohol, about drugs.

What I hope is that with clear rules and guidance, we will continue to raise charming, smart, beautiful, kind, caring, loving and generous individuals who are going to kick ass in this world.

Lastly, you know what I hate? When people say to me "oh, you're so lucky to have the children you have". For the record, LUCK has NOTHING to do with it. Nothing. Raising children in the hopes of luck, is setting them up for failure. Raising children is not the hardest job I have ever done, it is however the one I have been the most consistent, the most diligent, the most honest, the most caring and the most careful in doing. Those things are what makes my kids great, normal, kids. Luck has nothing to do with it, and quite frankly, I'm offended anyone would think so.

Happy Easter!

Wishing everyone a wonderful day today, although I suppose we should wish that for those we love every day, not just on special occasions.

The boys had a teenage version of an egg hunt this morning. We have over the years had hunts where they have to find their treasures based on clues. It was a lot of fun this year as they were totally surprised. I had told them during the week that their new clothes were their Easter gifts.

I warned them that I would be taking a picture at the end, so shirts may be wanted but obviously Kaedo is secure in his manhood and decided a skinny pasty white look was all good. lol

I think they likes the money more than the chocolate.  Who can blame them?

Craig and I also exchanged gifts - which is beyond rare. He has a small collection of these 'dolls' that his staff have given him and I have always said when we see them that I like Anna from 'Frozen' as she is so brave and totally cool and never gave up on the person that was the most important to her. Very cool. So this is what I got:

While I don't usually buy gift cards for him, the three days before Easter I worked during all regular business hours, so I succumbed and bought the one that I knew he wouldn't use on the family and would truly treat himself to something:

We went to see Furious 7 and it was filled with fabulous cars, gorgeous women, kick ass car chases, awesome fight scenes and tonnes of shit getting blown up. It was topped off with a wonderful albeit very sad tribute to the late Paul Walker. A fitting send-off from those who love him. My kind of movie.

We were going to have a traditional Easter supper - Pizza, but my breadmaker is true and well broken so that went out the window. Maybe the kids will eat the chocolate they got?

The flowers are coming, the flowers are coming!!!

I have for many years I have decorated my front porch with an abundance of flowers and beat up furniture. Last year I also "landscaped" my front area and it looked quite fab too. Things grow like mad in my part of the world.

This year I have big plans. With a job in a flower shop and garden centre, I have first access to beautiful plants and flowers at a great deal. I have had the same thought about what I plan to do over the last few years and Craig has given the green light to go for it this year. Hoping to have it all set up by June 1 so I can enjoy it all Summer.

I have searched my archives for pictures of last years garden to no avail, so I am going to post some Pinterest photos of what I hope to accomplish this year.  Please note - not my photos.

I think 2 and 3 are neck in neck with maybe 2 little ahead. I love the idea of using a dresser and adding all your flowers and plants. It would be a great focal piece of my deck and my flowers seem to thrive there. I love number 1, especially the color, but as the dresser will sit below the window, the mirror isn't a good idea. I am currently plotting and scheming of what will look best and had better increase my hours at the shop should I want to do all this. Maybe I should be asking for gift certificates to my own work for any and all occasions! LOL.

Craig is very cool with whatever and has no qualms about getting his hands dirty, so that makes it so much easier. I am happy to weed and water and plant, so here's to a fabulous growing season.

On another note - the tulips bulbs that Craig gave me last Fall have started to come up. I am sure I check them 3 times a day. No pesky squirrels in them yet. Blood Meal keeps them away. Fun fact, squirrels love tulips and will dig out the bulbs a sock them away, but if you use blood meal, it's all good - they can't stand the stuff.  As for daffodils - they are poisonous to squirrels, so you daffodil lovers have nothing to fear.

As for Kaedo's garden - it is getting an overhaul this year too. It will be doubling in size with a few changes to what he plants and a few new strategies. Hopefully him working for a garden centre will teach him a few tricks as well.  Once we get it built, I'll post some pictures.  Won't be much before Mother's Day though.

Well, that's about it for this Sunday edition. Must go start my pizza dough as that is on the menu for tonight and Sterling has to work so it needs to be ready on time.

Lastly, wishing my oh-so-kickass-cool parents a safe journey as they make their way North. I know they will be counting down the days until they return to their winter home and where their hearts truly are. You guys are so amazing! Living the dream!

College Bound....or Not?

Yesterday Craig, Sterling and I visited Sterling's first choice college campus. We did the tour, talked to people, convinced him a radio show about cars would be cool, and then went to the sister campus and saw what he really wanted to see - the auto shop.

Craig and I waffle on our want for Sterling to be a mechanic. I think it is a classic case of wanting more for your children. Like maybe he could be a mobster - now that's power. However, in watching him speak with the instructors, be engaging, knowledgeable and strong in his convictions as to his life plan, how do we or any parent stop their children from being who they want to be. Except drug dealer, I would draw the line there.

Sterling is in a very interesting and enviable position in which he has been tapped to apply for and OYAP (Ontario Youth Apprenticeship Program) scholarship and we will begin the process today of getting the paperwork prepared. He will hand that in this week and wait until the week of May 25 for an interview. There are only 20 of these scholarships available he our region (which is hundreds of kilometers and approximately 50 high schools).

What is amazing about this program is that should Sterling gets this scholarship, he will have the opportunity to finish out his high school education taking college courses and getting his level one Apprenticeship. To be licensed in Ontario he must get Level 1, 2 and 3. The kids that get these scholarships are the best of the best. They have experience, knowledge and the ability to work in big shops, learning and doing. What we learned yesterday, is that should he be accepted, get his level one and be accepted to continue his apprenticeship with a shop/dealership, he actually won't go to college. The company he works for will work with the government to provide him with the technical experience and classroom knowledge to get his level three and become a licensed mechanic.

Alternately, he will still apply for college in the fall to all the Motive Power technician colleges in the area as a fall back. Interestingly even after taking that two year program, he will NOT have his level one.

So, while we have always told the boys that a college education is a must, it looks like Sterling may have to the opportunity to laugh in our faces and say 'Booyah!'

We'll keep you posted.

As for Kaedo, we had really hoped that he could join us but alas a 3 month-with the opportunity for permanent, job has come his way and he will now be working Fridays after school and all day Saturdays. He is thrilled with the opportunity and certainly chose going to work over spending the day with us.

While he is unsure of what college path he wants to take - yes, we know he is only in grade 10 but here he will have to make the decision in grade 11, Craig found a couple of programs that might interest him. When we spoke with him last night, there was one in particular he was very interested in. Blasting Techniques. In other words, when people ask us when he does, we will very coolly be able to say "He blows shit up". Amazingly, I have a feeling that is what he's going to choose.

Sterling

Not sure what to say about these pictures except WOW! 

Photo credit to Noah PB
Instagram - @n.pb / @digitisation
He is an amazing photographer and I have been very lucky to get access to these. Thank you Noah.

Kaedo finished winter ball last Tuesday night and I dare say, he was certainly one of the stars of the team. He has taken the initiative over the last 6 months to try and play four days a week and it is amazing how much his skill level has increased. The rec play he participates in brings together teenagers and young adults of all skill levels and nationalities. I mention the nationalities because I think it is especially prevalant in soccer. Different cultures play the game differently, whether it be their level of intensity or aggression. Kaedo has learned the best of all these traits and it has brought his personal game to a new level. I am proud of him for making this sport he loves so much a priority, and it is a thrill to watch him play. He will begin summer ball in June and until then we will willingly schelp him back and forth to the civic 3 days a week so he can play with people from all over our community. While I know Kaedo has never read the blog, in case he one day does, I will say this: I'm so proud of you and the way you have come back from injury and adversity to do something you love so very much. You are an example of what strength, courage and tenacity is and I am so very proud to be your mom!