Rest In Peace

4 generations - her first grandchild and first great-grandchild

My gramma died last night. At 11:55pm. Five minutes before my mom's birthday ended. My mom is fine with it. But she's always been stronger than I. It has been a hard day. My mom had a hard time connecting with me this morning and while I know it's not true, I feel like I let her down, not being on the other end of the phone when she called. She spent all night knowing my gramma had died without telling me or J. She didn't want to upset our night. My mom thinks of us first even when she shouldn't be.

Back to my gramma. She was a wonderful gramma to me and she loved the boys so very much. She had had a rough life - the loss of a child, a move from her family in England and many other things that she would not want me to dwell on.

My gramma loved music and she loved to dance. She must have taught me the Charleston 50 times. She had rhythm from the top of her head to the end of her toes and loved music right until the end of her life.

She would always have rather eaten dessert first, and I guess I am her granddaughter in that way. She couldn't cook, and in my memory never pretended she could, but was always a gracious host who had a meal or treat ready when you came to visit.

In her later years she spent many hours watching the birds come to the feeder outside her window. I often wonder if my mom got her love of birds from my gramma.

She loved game shows - any game show. I am sure I watched more Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune with her than I ever thought possible.  She would yell out the answers, and laugh if she wasn't right. She had a wonderful laugh. It lit up her face.

She loved Bingo - her true passion - or so I used to tell her. She tried to convert me on more occasions than I care to remember but I never could do more than one sheet at a time. I think she finally gave up on me.

She loved the Legion and the friends she had there. I don't have any memories of her going there but I know it was something she loved and she made life-long friends.

When Sterling was a baby I used to work in Calgary on the weekends and used to stay with my gramma. She was a wonderful host and always slept on the couch while she gave me her bed. I always felt guilty but she said she slept better on the couch and "don't argue with your grandmother".

I spent a lot of time with my gramma when I lived in Alberta but must admit since moving across the country I haven't seen her as often as I should have.

What I will say is that she loved her family very much. They were of utmost importance to her. She was kind but spoke her mind, and when she thought I was fat she told me, LOL. If only she could see me now. She is probably yelling at me from Heaven! Take a damn walk! And you know what? She's absolutely right.

She was a wonderful gramma and a great great-grandma. I was so very lucky to have her in my life. Now she is with her son, her sisters, her parents and the friends that passed before her. I hope there is a great band playing for her. All those classics she loved. That, if nothing else, will bring a smile to her face.

So now I sit 3000 kms away wishing I was with my mom, holding her hand, talking or not talking. She is the strongest woman I know and she will get through this sad time knowing it was gramma's time to pass. While I loved my gramma, my mom is my hero.