Here goes:
1. I eat my poop, even if people are watching.
2. I hide my treats in obvious hiding places to see if anyone will find them.
3. I squeak my toys because everyone thinks it's annoying.
4. I bark outside. Because I can.
5. I love to play fetch but I'd much rather just chase than return.
6. Even if I'm not hungry, I'll still beg for food.
7. I jump on people whenever I want. Especially Shannon.
8. I hate the coats the make me wear. I look like an idiot. What I really need is a pair of shoes.
9. My favorite game is 'Pull The Dishtowels off the Rack'.
10. I purposely push my toy balls into places I can't reach just so the humans have to fetch.
Bonus: I run this house ;)
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