I was going to put more pictures up today, but that will wait for tomorrow. Today it's about anxiety. A word I truly hate but which envelops me and so many others every day. Small bouts, large bouts, to each his own.
We are dealing with anxiety in our household right now. It sucks but is life, right?
I'm looking at the house right now, the mess, the dust, the piles of stuff that need to be discarded, found a new home, washed, dusted, and all TODAY. At least that's how I'm feeling. My husband was amazing this weekend. He worked like a machine, making my dream of 'almost white' walls come true. In return, I told him I would get things back in shape today. I am overwhelmed looking at the mess. I don't know where to start. Anxiety.
I have such high hopes (and small budget) for how I want this house to look. I am overwhelmed with how to make it all come together. Craig's budget is 'free', mine is a little higher. Needless to say, everything will be a negotiation. Anxiety.
Craig was hoping to get all the painting done this weekend, but we fell short in getting the hall to the office and Sterling's room done. He is dismayed. He wanted it all done but I was adamant he not work until 9 last night. Now he will be working, at least on Sterling's room (because right now it is unlivable) next weekend. Anxiety.
Talked to the boys on the phone last night and Sterling's first question after his "hello jello, smello, yello" (standard greeting - love it), was had the bus company called to see if he got bussing privileges. When I said no, he was freaked out. Anxiety. Then he tells me that while gramma is awesome in making sure he takes his medicine, his Tourettes is "worse than ever". Anxiety.
Ketchup seems sick. We don't know what's wrong. He doesn't want to come down the stairs. Craig says he needs his paws clipped. He has started clicking his jaws. Kinda scary. I thought he was having a seizure. Craig says he isn't in any pain and is still eating, so we must not worry too much. However, he's the one who got on the computer first thing this morning trying to get some answers. Just another reason to add to the 1000's of why I love this man. Guess what? Could be anxiety. Poor guy. It's like having a baby that can't tell you what's wrong and doesn't cry either. I cried myself to sleep last night worrying about him. Anxiety.
Kaedo - no anxiety! Haha - love it! I know he sometimes has anxiety but we should take a lesson from him. He is mellow and calm and all things wonderful.
Anxiety is good and bad and unfortunately I tend to focus on the bad (read above). Much of the time you get funny tales of our adventures, but today you get this. Because this is where we are. I must just remember that our lives are so much better than many others, anxiety and all.
And my boys are coming home soon - no anxiety at all!
1 comment:
Everyone suffers from anxiety in one form or another and for many different reasons. Many times it's because we're looking at the big picture instead of breaking it down into manageable bits. Everything doesn't have to be done at this moment, it just needs to be started. As soon as we make a start on something, it just seems to flow and all of a sudden, it's done. We often put too much of a burden on ourselves because our expectations far exceed our ability to get it all done. Take one small part at a time and then the next and so on...it will all get done.
Sorry to hear about Sterling's Tourettes starting up again. He was doing so well but he will do well again.
Hope Ketchup gets better but he is getting old and illness is something all species suffer from in old age.
We all handle anxiety differently, some internalize and some let it all show. No matter how one handles it, we have to let it go before it totally takes over our life. Go do your work, as much or as little as you can, and stop worrying about it because that wastes time. You do yourself a favor by writing about it, now put it aside as much as you can.
Life is good, anxiety and all, you are so right.
Love to all
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