Can we talk about the weather?

I find myself doing a lot of prefacing on the blog these days, but today I am going to give you the straight facts.
I am so sick of hearing about the weather, the cold and the snow. Here's how it breaks down where I live;

We had a little snow in November which caused mass hysteria that it was Armageddon. I think it lasted a week.  I'm shocked the National Guards weren't called in because people were having a hard time getting to Tim Horton's for their morning coffee intravenous. (as an aside, I do not nor will I ever understand the fascination with Tim Hortons)

We had no snow at Christmas, prompting people to bemoan the fact that it wouldn't be a white Christmas and that just 'doesn't seem like Christmas'. WTF? Tens of thousands of people driving and flying to see loved ones on the holiday and now we are complaining about no snow. Safety, people. Get a grip. Not to mention, blizzards aren't safe for Santa, so what are you trying to do? Kill Christmas? (That should get a rise out of the Christmas isn't Santa crowd. If you're five, Santa is Christmas - so blow me)

So January goes by, still no snow.

February pops in to say hello and dumps hellfire all over the region. People were furiously shoveling, it was cold, (caveat - I don't shovel - that's what I had children - that and mowing the lawn).

March arrives and the snow is still here, but it is warming up, close to zero and in some moments, above zero. But are people happy? No. They want +15 NOW. For the record - their insurance companies will be in hog heaven from the flooding and that will give homeowners something else to bitch about.

Winter has been six weeks long here. We LIVE IN CANADA, and have always had snow. If you don't like it, I recommend a tropical vacation, or a Netflix subscription and grocery delivery OR maybe you could just suck it up and shut up about it (that one gets my vote).

The worst invention of the 20th century is the Weather Channel. I don't know how many times people from afar have called, texted, emailed- 'I saw on the Weather Channel that it is cold there'.Go figure, it's Winter! First off, shut off the TV. Secondly, we LIVE IN CANADA.

So here is a crash course on how it works:

a) Look out the window - if you see snow, take your damn coat and gloves
b) if you see puddles, a lighter jacket may be in order
c) if birds are chirping (which they are as I write this), even more cause for celebration
d) Spring is coming, and the more you complain about it the more I want to pray for the weather gods to dump more snow

I never look at the weather, don't care about the the weather. I am of the Little House on the Prairie style of weather forecasting; it looks cold, I guess it's cold. Wear a coat. This seems simple to me.

If I didn't work with people every day (I know, shocking, right?) I would tell them to shut the hell up and stop bitching. Spring is on its way and it is the best season of the year. Quit trying to rush perfection.

PS - Hey dad - Happy Birthday!